• 2020


    wake up


    13.01.2021 01:53am


    first of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR Y'ALL!!!! i hope everyone had a good day these past festive days! my christmas was celebrated with my family, and i'm really happy that i could buy something this year for them. you know, i felt really old seeing my parents and brother opening their gifts while i was laying on the couch... work was hard and i was very tired, and since my dad gets to bed early we decided to open the gifts early!

    you know, seeing people opening your gifts with a smile is really nice. yes, receiving is good, but for me, giving is greater? i dont know, really. i dont mind when people dont get me things, but the satisfaction of knowing they like what i give them is nice for me. if i can make them happy, then i am too!

    MHMHMHMHMHM what else has been happening in my daily life? lately, i've been thinkin about my cats a lot. i miss them a lot, and the other day i dreamed about vaquita. it was weird, but it seemed she was all wet, as if someone oured water on her.,,, nevertheless, i was very happy to see her! it's sad, but these dreams about my cats look TOO real. its cruel... work has been busy so i havent done anything for their page.

    something else...? AH. i've been watching boku no hero academia! my very first anime after years of not watching anything new. yes, i consider bnha new, LOL! impressive how i'm watching all of the seasons, slow, but surely, i'm in season 4 right now, and it's very good! i think i love it... i love hearing midoriya's sound effect on his quirk, idk why LOL. it's pleasing! i gotta say, katsuki was a pain in the ass i didn't like at all, but slowly he grew on me. really, rly, slow... I LOVE KODA. CUTE. todoroki's character is nice, but i think what i like about him is his ice powers. i have a little obssesion with ice powers... also, THERE'S IS A CENTIPEDE HERO. OMG.

    i really like all villains characters, and surprisingly, one of my favorites characters is stain! i hope i can make a small page for him someday, so that's on my to-do list. that i should update... everytime i looked at him i couldn't stop thinking about the ninja turtles, and his design is badass! i really loved his concept, and i wish i could have seen more of him... kurogiri was one of my interests too, so it was very displeased he's not shown often. also, i love twice's and toga's friendship! it's really cute how toga took care of his mask being torn.


    ANYWAYS. IN OTHER NEWS: I WAS APPROVED IN A FANLISTING! BRUH. weeks ago i requested if i could get approved to do a fanlisting for fatal frame ii, and GUESS WHAT YO. I GOT APPROVED LMAOOOOO. I WAS SURE I WASN'T GOING TO GET APPROVED LOL. i tried to make as much research on the php? enthusiast script or something like that, but my brain couldn't understood anyting of it, so managing the members manually is going to be my job. i've doing the layout, very simple, since TFL gives you four weeks to finish it, and my small brain doesn't give me much.

    and since i got approved... i WILL fill this TRASH with more fanlistings. why? because i like suffering.

    anyways, i have a lot of unfinished pages. i wanted to get around doing my site log, but it got STUCK.


    1. manga caps (tumblr style...?)
    2. site log (since NOVEMBER, DUDE. SINCE NOVEMBER.)
    3. templates page (got this idea while i was doing an about page...)
    4. card collection page (since i want to do more HUAHAUHAUHAU).

    i've doing these card collection ideas. i rlly wanted to do a 'photograph' card style to trading, since it looks so lovely!

    the other two are wips, since i don't know what else to do with them. but when i make my trading card collection page, i will add these into it...

    i've been thinking of doing an awards page too! i remember the idea being on older websites a lot, and i would like to contribute to it... but idk... i don't think what i make is worth. maybe i just do it for myself? dunno, but the satisfaction of doing something by yourself is nice.

    ALSO. one of my fav MMO's got a private server again! but this time with a character that we couldn't play before! if you can, please check 'play polar trickster' on google and you will find the site. trickster online was such a good mmo, and it's sad it got closed. but this year will get a mobile game, BUT UNFORTUNATELY I DONT READ KOREAN T-T. and you need to have a korean cellphone number to register, so i wish with ALL MY HEARTLESS HEART IT GETS A GLOBAL RELEASE.

    and for last, zanarkand has gotten a litte of traffic lately? i don't know where you all are coming from, but sorry to dissapoint with this lazy-messy ass website. i wish i could put more effort into it, but my time doing nothing is limited. also WTF. I GOT LISTED AT DISTRICTS???!?!?!??!?!?!?! WHEN I SAW MY BUTTON THERE DUDE. I FLIPPED WHEN I WAS IN WORK OMG. i almos screamed lmaoooo. this site is not special at all, so i was very surprised i saw zanarkand listed there.

    i have wanted to do this 'website listing' thing lately, but i cant think of a name nor a topic per se. what should it be named? what type of websites are listed? should it be like a banner roll? like a promotion thing? it sounds cool, but i'm not sure. my shit is not interesting and it dissapoints!!!

    anyways, it's late, but i wanted to write something for some reason.

    take care, and OMG my birthday is coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how exciting... mhmhmh. i'm not doing anything anyways, but my coworker really wants me to do something, but i dont do anything LUL. i just eat in my house whatever my dad wants to cook...

    blablaba. SEE YOU LATER!



    28.11.20 10:00pm


    OOF. december in work is going to be a pain. a lot of people come into the store, and my feet hurt like hell. also, i can't believe how many people bring their kids into the mall, even when we have high cases of covid... it looks like they don't even care: i mean, it's a highly different thing go into the mall to buy the things you want than just walk around eating ice cream like a fucking idiot. i hate people. they are dumb. i wish i could stop going to work, but if i do i'm fucked. so i'm dumb too. :)

    SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN IS OUT BABY. the op is soooo good, I LOVE IT! the visuals and the music is amazing. it's weird, but i haven't seen the chapter LOL. i hate waiting for episodes every week, so i would wait a little bit until there are 5 episodes? i'm weird. i've heard the manga is going to end with 3 more chapters, so i'm sad about it. nevertheless, isayama has been doing an amazing job with it, and even if i know it's going to end in not a good way, i hope there's disclosure and at least a proper good bye.

    OOOOFFF. idk wtf is happening to me, but my body has been ITCHING a lot! i know if i scratch even a little bit, a worse itch overcomes my body and i makes me want to pull my hair in desperation. it had went away in the past, but it seemed it returned to stay... i should go to the doctor, but no doctor is free and i don't have insurance. so me = fucked (once again).

    hmhmhmmh... what else? sometimes i feel very upsted when i think of my cats... i really loved them, you know? so that was a bad punch to the face when they weren't here no more. it's sad. hopefully i could make them a page someday, i have some drafts around, so hopefully next year or maybe around december.

    OH! yesterday someone wnated to get inside my house? my mom heard the lock being moved around to get it open, and the dog barking and growling at the door. she tried to get me up, but since i was too tired from work i didn't even remember her calling for me LOL. but ok, what i could do? 1v1 the dude if he got inside? LOL. the cops don't even come if you call them, and my dad wasn't there that day. poor mom, but at least nothing happened.

    with my shrines, i've been advancing a lot in my fiona's shrine! i've been writing a little bit in it, and the final layout i think it's done. something simple, but honestly i dig it! i've been advancing only the layout in my nicholas shrine, and my okage's shrine. i would like to post them when they are completed, but i know if i do that they wont see the light ever LOL.

    you know, a girl of the other store besides us has befriended me a lot? i don't know, but she seems to really like me. i like her too! but i'm pretty surprised when people like me, and she told me she liked our friendship! it was nice, but i feel empty when she told me that. i really appreciate her a lot, but since i've been quite upset lately i think that didn't do much for me... i'm a disgusted, horrible person, and even when i like her that didn't make me feel anything... i really have changed. before, that would have make me crazy and happy. now, not too much.

    with my savings, i've been buying gifts for five people-- my mom, dad, grandma and my two friends. thank god i saved something LOL.

    I don't think I will write another entry for this month, so MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR! this year has sucked ass, and even if the people have been acting like idiots, we can get on our feet next year. this world has been a disaster many times, so we should keep moving forward no matter what.

    happy december!


    03.11.20 06:03pm

    Imagen de quotes, anime, and frog

    Yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! How has it being going???? Uh? Me? hahahah FUCK. I haven't updated a single thing in here, and that's a little sad. I like this place, but work really sucks all my life and i get home so tired. I wanted to revamp the site for halloween, but as you can see nothing happened to this place, unfortunately. I wish I could do more, but honestly I only want to sleep.

    What I have been doing? Or more, what happened? Some things have gone wrong, and since I want to vent a little I will write about them. I don't like too much how this diary is only for bad and negative things, but I think it's needed for me.

    Sooo the other day was my friend's birthday! I got to her house and I meet her boyfriend, really nice guy. Everything was going really nice until her brother mentioned something about what happened two years ago. What happened? It was my first and last time being drunk, and I threw up on her toilet, then one of my friends took a picture of me in a bad state and share it publicy. That's a fucked up situation when you don't expect friends to humiliate you like that, but hey, stuff happened and I have forgiven that person.

    So ye, her brother said something about it and I just was so shocked? I wanted to cry right there, and my friend know how bad I feel with that kind of stuff. The worse of it was that he said it with other people around, so I feel humiliated. What's worse is that my friend didn't do anything about it, and stayed silent. My whole night was ruined like that, and I hold my tears until I left. It must sound so simple and stupid, and It's not that I want my friends to defend me, but a simple 'shut up' or 'hey that's not nice' would have been enough. Best friend? Sure thing. I even told her when I left that her brother was an idiot, and she only said 'I know'. She's very an upfront person, but I guess I wasn't enough. I haven't talked to her since september, and I guess I don't need to because I'm not needed? I see her stuff online, so I guess she's fine, so I am too.

    That really hurt me— I really can't count on anybody, and I have learned that the hard way, I guess. Fortunately, my coworker and I have been doing really good lately. She trusts me a lot, and I guess I trust her too, but like I said, counting much on other people is bad.

    That's another situation, then I found one of my cats died in October 21th. Dad and I were returning from work, when I briefly saw my cat laying in one of the neighboor's house, and I said, "hey, mostaza is sleeping there", my dad was weirded out because he didn't see her in the morning to eat breakfast. He took a look, and then came back to tell me she was dead. I think my whole soul left my body, and something mine died that day. I cried all night and I wanted to cut my hair right there but thankfully my parents stopped me from doing something reckless. Just thinking that she is not here really upsets me, but I have come to the terms that I won't see her again in this world, but maybe we will see each other one day. I really loved you Mostaza, I really did. Hope you did too. I think I almost die that night.

    I go to this place to cut my hair the next day— that made me change, somehow. Changing something aesthetically really helps, and I thought that was weird. But I felt like another person, and my coworker really loved it! I was very anxious, but I really felt the change. Since I'm vERY confident with it, here's a picture!


    That's one of my many cats, pantera! He's very problematic, but I like him a lot. He likes being pet.

    Also, my hair was below my shoulders! I planned to let it grow all this year, but that happened. It was a good thing to do, tho. I like it very much. I think I lost some weight too.


    These are Mostaza, Chikilin and Vaquita. Very dear to me, so they will be immortal in this place. Hope I can make a page for them someday, so that's one of my plans.

    Also, I made them an altar de muertos! Not fancy, since I couldn't get much.

    I've never made one before, so this one is special. Hope I can do better next time. I made them letters that I only know what's written on them.

    I had a dream the other day— i dreamed about mostaza. I was petting her like always, but someone took her from me. It was weird, maybe she was saying goodbye? It was very sad, and I don't know if It was my brain still processing her leaving, but whatever it was I'm glad I could see her again. It felt like a farewell.

    On another note, work has been very busy. LMAO I told the FUCKING BOSS world wasn't going to end if we didn't finish organizing all the stuff he wanted to. BUT IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE OK? My friend takes her classes at work, so it was not possible to do the stuff he wanted the other day and I just kinda exploded. It was a bad thing to do and I do respect my boss, but he just didn't want a no for an answer. I certainly surprised him, but I just couldn't let him being this irritating with my coworker. He likes to ask her to do a lot of things because I'm not really good at organazing and he knows that, but seeing how irritating he was being I couldn't keep my mouth shut. BAD THING BROS. DON'T DO THAT LOL. He didn't say anything rude to me, since I didn't say it in a bad way. Luckily he's not that kind of boss who likes to yell or have a bad attitude. My wrong tho.

    SO! PAGE! I have been doing a manga recommendation page the other day, but I haven't progressed anything since september. The layout is done, so I have just to write more of the content now... BUSYBUSYSBUSY.

    That's it. It's good updating here. Hopefully I can do more in december! HAPPY HALLOWEEEEN!!!!!!!!!!!


    shalala bop bop shalala

    08.30.20 07:35pm

    Hey! it's been a while since i've written something on the diary. Unfortuantely, i've always been like this lmao. I remember my old blogspots accounts, i always tried to update regularly in the beginning but essentially i would become less and less active. Unfortunate, but i'm a lazy uninteresting person overall. This has made me update my page less, and I don't really like that but I can't do much anything about it when I don't know what to do next.

    wheeeew. what should i talk about in this entry? let's make a beautiful BULLET LIST!

    diary code + general

    are ya coding son?

    phewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, i have seeing my code in this page and holy shit. it's a disaster. i really, really don't know what's going on LOL. i really like how cute it looks, but i've seeing if i can change it in a much smaller design, like a mini diary. honestly, i have been taking interest in doing small designs... but anyways, DIARY: THE CODING SUCKS. like ughghghgh if you see the coding, you will get so disgusted lmfaooo. but oof, since i did tabs in it it's going to be a little difficult to modify, since i don't fully understand it. just changing the tab's style was hard for me, i don't really remember how to do it again...

    i showed my other design for my page in my shitposting section, but i haven't done much since. i haven't doing much coding unfortuantely, but i've been paying attention to neocities in general— i still haven't added the buttons for other people in my links page, but hopefully i can do it later. i see uu!!!

    rn i'm working in a listography page, since im to lazy to manage multiple accounts. eventually i forgot about them and abandon them lol. so a page is better.

    i'm trying to learn about transitions, but it IS really hard... ughgushgkjhgkshgsgh help pls i dont understand. im a dummy. i've trying to watch some tutorials but im legit lost. image

    i believe the main page will remain with that layout some time. i don't feel coding lately, sadly. i'm using my page for venting it seems, because the only page i'm updating a tiny bit is shitposting... ugh...


    my mood + stuff

    welp. what can i say? i returned to work, and this time around i recognized my boss is a son of a bitch lmao. he tries to appear like a good guy but i guess he's the same as everyone else. since he closed the other shop he had, only the two people working there (my coworker and i) had to move everything out, and it was a fucking lot. with no lights. no fan. the heat was fucking horrible, and i think i almost throw up when i got home, luckily the heat didn't fucked me that much, but the boss didn't give a fuck. i've never talked to the guy, but suddenly he appeared so friendly with me. i learned that your bosses aren't your friends, and they only appear to be friendly to make you fake-happy and make you feel as if you are appreacited. you are fucking not. i believe there are good bosses that care for their employers, but in my experience with the bosses i had to work for they all are selfish pricks who only care for the money. it's really upsetting, but if i died tomorrow they wouldn't give a shit. so remember this: do the job you have to do. don't die for your job, because you are replaceable. seriously, don't die doing work you think will get you promotions, because honestly, some of them won't. honestly, i've read plenty of other people's experiences working and they all say this: bosses will make you feel you are a family but all of that facade is to make you feel good to work with them. i thought like that too in the beginning, because some of them appeared sooo friendly. i've learned a lot thanks to the pandemic, since many people have been fired (even when they have years working in their companies). the person who was in charge quit because the boss didn't notify her of anything? and it's legit weird because she was in charge like 5 years, and when she quit he didnt giv a fuck lmao.

    oh, and also, there was no venting at all inside the shops. and for a fun fact: that day was the hottest day ever in this fucking city. no joke. and if it wasn't for our accountant talking to him saying 'you know they will resign if you make them work in these conditions?' he gave up on his shit real quick. i should quit, but there's literally no other store asking for employers, so i'm a little stuck.

    and honestly this has been my first job where i have been the longest image i really suck ass working, i'm so clumsy and dumb. so i don't have many options here but COMPLAIN LIKE A GOOD EMPLOYER. image

    anyways, work aside, how have i been? honestly, i have bad days. i really try to stop myself from crying because lately i've been sobbing too. it's not pretty, and i don't like it at all... i don't know why honestly.

    like a month ago i tried to go to a psychologist (is that how they are named in english?) like a month ago, but unfortuantely i couldn't keep up with the payment since i was unemployed. i really don't want to feel like this, but i have this shit since i was 12, so at least i can't control myself a little bit.

    the other day i saw something i shouldn't have seen. but i saw it. and now i will remember that scene forever until the day i die. please just kill me now. every time i remember that shit, my whole body shakes for two seconds. i'm disgusted y'all. image

    ANYWAYS. i've been drawing lately! unfortunately i don't finish any drawings, so many are unfinished. i really don't know what to do with my style, since it's horribly inconsistent. for some miracle i redid my art page, so some recent art has been added.ufsudufsuffuds i wish i could draw better, but when i see how shitty i draw i just get upset LOL. i have many sketches without finishing. it really sucks having my mindset lmao.

    anyways, the other day i ate fish and it was good.

    movies + tv shows... doing what?

    for some reason my interest in BL tv shows has appeared once again. i've been watching some thai series, and i must say i forgot how much i liked them. there are plenty of series really good! one of my favorites shows right now was 'the girl from nowhere' and i gave it a shot and i really like it. i'm happy to see there will be a second season. if someone is reading this piece of shit, i recommend it. it's a story about a misterious girl who is named nanno, and she goes to different school to punish? the liars or 'bad' people? to have some fun? every episode is a different setting. it's difficult for me to watch things because not many things interest me, so i was happy i gave that show a shot. really nice! hopefully maybe someday i will write about it in my recommendation page. someday

    anyways! that's it for today. not much, and it's almost all venting... but i think i had to write this to vent lol. the world is a beautiful but yet a horrible place sometimes.


    hey this is a title with nothing on it

    07.02.20 06:36pm

  • : YouSeeBIGGIRL/T:T (LIVE)
  • : water
  • m: pretty bad
  • i think this entry will be mostly ramblings and whines, so yeah.

    where can i begin?? i changed my site's layout not too long ago and i already began to dislike it. sorry, it's just a thing that i can't control. i hate whatever i do, even if im being pretty enthusiastic about it in the beggining. it sucks, but i try man.

    first point: i want to change the website's name, but doing it will make me re-direct a lot of things... maaaaaaaaan what do i doooooooooooooooooo....... Y_Y

    but hey!!! the howl's shrine is up and i really like how it was done. i hope i could be more creative, but i didn't know what else to do with it. maybe later i would add a page about the movie... but else than that, i think i'm done.

    SO! the next shrine is for nicholas!!! i think all my effort is on it, as i'm going to try do a shrine with his info in it. i've been following a lot of shrines in the past, and it had always amazed me all the essays people do about their favorite characters, so i hope i can do the same.

    but now i've been pretty undecided about how i want the layouts to look. i rlly like webcores ~aesthetic~, but with nic's shrine im striking a more simple and 'OrGanIZED' layout... hmn. i really don't know. anyways, i'm really bad at organizing lmao. but i think my time is going to be most on the contents... i'm really bad at writing, but i don't think anyone will read the trash i put on it LOL. but hey, all of this i made it because i like it, but i know i never like anything i do so im going to go ahead and do it. i'm just going to publish the home page with the sections i want, so hopefully that will be soon. honestly, i'm having a little fun trying to do a layout for shrines, but honestly i don't want the same layout on most of the pages, but that would do for now.

    also... as i've been exploring shrines, i'm sad to see most of them are dead. for some miracle some networks are alive, but not updating recently. i guess the owners had grown up and have resposabilities, so doing shrines is time consuming... as it is only a hobby, i can understand. i'm using the wayback machine to see dead shrines and sites, and man, there's a lot. i just visited my old blog and my about page had fanlisting, and clicking in most of the icons sent me to a dead site. i always wanted to hold a fanlisting, but i think that's only for paid networks... ORZ.

    anyways, what's this entry supposed to be? dunno, but for a final comment i would say that the last of us 2 was dissapointing as fuck. almost a decade for something like that... damn. i'm glad i wasn't that enthusiastic about it when the trailer went out. honestly, tlou2 is a good example of companies not doing games because they are not passionate about it, but they want moneyyyyy just like every other company nowadays.

    blah blah this is the end of the entry!!! no more whine LOL

    nothing nothing

    06.25.20 11:45pm

    there's not much to say in this entry. i just wanted to at least write my thoughts today, so there's a small update.

    i've having this urge of changing the layout of the main page again ugh. i've already done maybe the new home page, and even if i said in my to-do list i wanted to do a much darker tone layout, it came out PINK and CUTE, GODDAMMIT. i just like cute things you know?!! I CAN'T STOP. it's a really simple layout, but i'm holding my urges of already changing everything. maybe i will do it next month, or maybe i will say screw it and change everything again. *sigh*. i'm never satisfied with anything... i've wanting to do a webcore/animecore layout, but i don't have any ideas on how to do it. should i do a more retro style? modern one? WHAT DO I WANT???

    as i changed the diary's layout— instead of adding pages i added tabs, and well, i don't know what's making the tabs display like that... but oh well, at least it works, right? lol.

    this layout was going to be te next main layout for the index, but i think i'm being a little too comfy with my current one.

    being adding more pages because why not??? i'm just experimenting around, and as for now there are a couple of pages live: bugs, music, new about, and this one. i'm thinking about adding a 'mascot' pages, but i'm actually pretty sad squiby, an adoptables page, is shut down since who knows when. so unfortunate... i guess the 'clic to level up' pets aren't around anymore? pretty sad. but oh well, nothing is forever.

    as for my life...... i've drawing more lately. do i like my works? of course not lmao. i'm being irritated by everything, i sweat like a pig and i'm angry 24/7. this sucks.


    07.02.20 7:07pm

    hey! it's really surprising realizing it's not may anymore. time surely flies, but i guess because ive been in a state where i never left the house for two years being in closed doors doesn't bother me anymore. i can see how bad that can get to some people, including my friend. she gets really sad and irritated thanks to her depression, but she's been doing work from home and exercises in the morning! so that helps her a lot.

    on the other hand, i made mac&cheese today! my mom has told me i need to know how to cook because one day i will be alone and i should know how to at least do proper meals. its true tho, if it was for me i would only eat frozen food and noodles everyday. i think i would eat just one meal a day too LOL. i'm really caleress about my health, that sucks. and ive always realized im a good for nothing dumbass who doesnt even know how to cook an egg. i wish my good for nothing ass get more motivated to do things by myself. you know, maybe i should do a page about my cooking process... because I DONT KNOW SHIT. honestly, i suck ass. im worth nothing and honestly, i give you the right to laugh at this loser lmao

    yesterday i made a draft on my 'media review'. i wrote about it in my previous entry, and somehow i write some yesterday. i wanted to see if i should me a new layout for it or if i should go with my main page layout. for now im going with the main layout, but i think i will change it someday. whooo knoooowssssssss

    been playing some trickster again. there's a nice private server called 'lifeTO' and i super duper recommend it. the webmasters are really nice and have a discord server! (also that's why you see some charactes sprites around the site hehe ;; like the one in this entry!) i'm a bit sad the official game had to shut down. i guess everything comes to an end.... pretty sad.

    ooooh and also, i got the junko skin in identity v!! i absolutely love it. im such a trash at the game, but i tried to play her as much as i could lol. wish i could get makoto....

    beep boop YAH

    05.30.20 5:35

    i woke up at 5:30 pm yesterday. each time i woke up i felt so tired i went back to sleep. i hate how i sleep, tho;; i wake up in one hour to go back to sleep again. its quite annoying, but i always thought is my subconscious telling me there's something important to do when there's nothing. like when i have to go somewhere important in a certain hour and i woke up one hour before my alarm goes on. very weird.

    also, SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN TEASER IS LIVE YOOOO. you don't know how happy and excited and crazy i went. the manga is not even finished but it will maybe next year or finishing this year, and seeing JEAN AND REINER IN THE TEASER OMG I LOVE THEM WTF. AND FALCO TOO. AND SASHA. AND ARMIN. AND CONNIE i love this. the animation team is doing an amazing work, idk but it almost looked like a movie to me lol. absolutely loving this. eren and his ABS are amazig. i can't wait to seeEEEE IT!!! iloveituggghhh

    look at how handsome and beautiful these bastards are. UGH i absolutely love it, but im sad this is the end of the series. i know it wont have a happy ending, ive always knew thanks to isayama's interviews i cant waaaaaaaaait i love it. ive watched the trailer a lot of times and everyone look so beautiful

    oof, ok, in other news: i learned how to do gifs now!!! ive spending my time doing banners for my site all night, so as you notice there have been some updates on my links page. im very very happy with the result!! something that i never am with the things i do LOL. i try to not be so hard on myself but its difficult. i dont like myself nor anything i do: there was a time i didnt want to eat for whole days, and even my mom asked me if i didnt like myself. i just... don't. ive always been hateful for myself: i dont deserve anything i have, i suck, why do my friends keep talking to me? im a horrible person that deserves to root all alone.

    welp, i didnt want this entry to end this dark, but these thoughts have been appearing. a shame, but thankfully seeing shingeki again has made me happy again! i don't have much to say now, just that i have playing a lot of identity v!! and obviously, i havent gotten any skins LOL. ANYWAYS. when im always interest and motivated to do something i go full in, so i wonder when my motivation to update this website will disappear. i hope not anytime soon because im really liking doing this. im trying to think more pages to add, like maybe a 'review' or just my trashing opinions on movies, anime, mangas ive read. i dont know how to be a critic nor i have a good taste, so it will just be my opinion without much sustance... im still thinking about it, but maybe i will do it later. i'm trying to learn how to code too! i want to make my shinres pretty


    hey thats pretty good

    05.27.20 5:17pm

    BRUH. i can't believe heather and pyramid head are in dead by daylight. it's too surreal. its like a fever dream all of us had when we were children, thinking about getting sonic and ryu in smash. remember all the games in newsground with all the cross over characters in it???? it was soooo cool back then. i cant believe we are in a timeline where its possible to make characters from different series fight each other... pretty insane if you ask me. even if i was so young back then, i always was into videogames because of my brother. my mom didn't think it was 'girly' playing videogames, but now she doesn't think like that no more. if it wasn't for my bro i don't think i would have created this site. maybe i would have been a completely different person... weird thoughts.



    05.26.20 6:00pm

    so yeah, finally i've doing big changes to my site!! i don't know anything about coding, so my program's blank templates help a lot LOL ando also i just se if things work or not, so there's not a mastermind behing all of this trash site lul. dunno, i know it's not a flashy amazing site like others, but i guess this is fine by me. at least my website will be alive forever on the internet, even when i'm not! so that's cool. dunno what else to write, just that i've playing animal crossing and guess what! today is bruce's b-day!!! i love him so much, he's so cool

    also pretty excited about the new danganropa event in identity! i know im not getting ANYTHING without buying with real money, but with this pandemic around and without my job i can't do much

    recently in my city there's lockdown on 7pm— police is around at that time making sure nobody gets out. i'm sure in my city this virus will make us stay indoors pretty long, but there are many people who don't obey and just go to parties like nothing is happening. that is sickening— these people are doing more harm than good, and i hate that mindset of "if it's my time to die then i will get the virus" honestly, FUCK YOU. anyways, that's it. this sucks.